Testing yourself regularly for STIs is important. I share with you what my first STI test at the doctor’s was like.
Recently I discovered a new world for me: sex parties. I regularly go to different parties and also talk about it with my partner.
In the sex-positive world of swinger clubs, BDSM fans, kinky parties, polys different rules apply. For example, people talk very openly and appreciatively about sex, desires, dreams and sexual fantasies. In addition, almost everyone gets tested regularly for sexually transmitted infections (STIs). That’s lucky. And it is also discussed as a natural matter.
How high is the risk of getting infected?
A few statistics to show the urgency of the issue. Up to the age of 25, every second person is affected by an STI. Statistically, there is an increased risk from three sex partners per year. “The problem is the people who think they are not infected,” Brockmeyer, president of the German STI Society, emphasised’ to ‘Der Spiegel’.
The sex-positive scene goes for STI tests regularly
In the sex-positive scene, before getting intimate, you ask everyone about their last STI test. Normal, right? Unfortunately, I have the impression that especially in the monogamous, but also the Tinder Bumble world, the topic is looked at rather careless. And if it is, then it usually about an HIV test or a smear test if there is an itch in the crotch. But there are many more STIs that you should get tested for.
What sexually transmitted diseases are there?
Sexually transmitted diseases go much further than is usually known. It refers to HIV and hepatitis, as well as gonorrhoea, but also to fungal infections, chlamydia or cervical cancer.
Most of these are diseases that are treatable if detected early. And above all, their transmission radius can be limited.
Reservations before testing
When I told a monogamous friend that I had taken a comprehensive STI test, she asked me: “Why do that? Are you having problems in your private parts right now?”
The question really says it all, because not all STIs cause noticeable or visible symptoms. This is really important to know. Some infections can lie dormant inside us unnoticed and have fatal long-term consequences. And of course, unnoticed infections can be transmitted to sex partners in the meantime. Ouch!
Shame and embarrassment when testing
Unfortunately, very few people get tested regularly. The shame of going to the doctor, the fear of the test and the results make many hesitate. Overestimating oneself in the sense of: It won’t affect me after all, make for a false assessment of the situation. After all, the diseases are not only transmitted during unprotected intercourse, but also during anal intercourse and blowjobs.
How often should people be tested for STIs?
Everyone should get tested regularly. When it comes to “regularly” there are different statements, from monthly to once a year. For me, the middle ground feels right: every 6 months.
Should I also be tested in relationships?
Since I regularly practice casual sex, it was also time to have a detailed STI test. In the years before, I was in a long-term relationship where I (naively) didn’t see the need. But (as I know now) I should have given it some more thought back then.
So far, I ‘only’ had an HIV test done and went to the gynaecologist for a test when I felt symptoms like discharge, itching or burning in the vaginal area. Got me: back then I fell into the trap of only checking visible effects. Shame on me! This also applies to men: not every infection leads to symptoms.
My first detailed STI test
In Berlin, there are many places to go to get information about sexually transmitted infections, to get tested and treated. It doesn’t always have to be the gynaecologist’s office. I made an appointment online at the ZIBP – Zentrum für Infektiologie Berlin in Prenzlauer Berg. It’s a general practice that specialises in STIs, among other things. Making the appointment was straightforward and non-judgemental.
I went to the appointment three weeks later quite relaxed. But when I stood in the doctors office, I did get a bit nervous. First, a sympathetic doctor asked me a few questions, which I was already expecting:
The questions during the test about my partners
Yes, I have changing sex partners.
“Do you have sex with men AND women?”
“Do the men only have sex with other women or also with men?” “Um, good question … As far as I know only women.”
On sex practices
When she says that she has to ask me about my sex practices, I am briefly irritated. A film starts right away in my head in which I have to tell her which positions I like best, whether dominant or submissive, hard or soft, and how many are involved.
But ultimately she wants to know, “Do you have sex vaginally, anally and/or orally?”
Ah, that makes sense. All three areas where fluids are exchanged. In other words, the areas where samples then need to be taken.
What STIs are tested for?
She then informed me that women are usually tested for the pathogens of the following infectious diseases:
– HIV (infection usually goes unnoticed, after weeks possibly flu-like symptoms such as fatigue and swelling of the lymph nodes – who immediately thinks of an STI?)
– Chlamydia (possible symptoms: burning, itching, discharge in women and men, but in most cases asymptomatic and one of the most common STIs worldwide)
– Syphilis (typical but rare sign of infection: skin nodules at the site of entry)
– Gonorrhoea (also gonorrhoea of the throat, symptomatic with purulent discharge in both sexes)
– Hepatitis C (Hepatitis A and B is common if vaccination has not been given)
– HPV (human papillomavirus, contributory cause of cervical cancer)
What is needed for these STI tests?
A saliva sample, a vaginal swab, an anal swab, a blood test and a urine sample.
The doctor does the saliva test directly. What I find very positive and empowering is that the doctor asks if she should do the vaginal and anal tests or if I want to do them myself? I’ll do it myself.
Do it yourself, please
So off to the toilet of the doctor’s office. To be honest, it’s a bit strange to walk past the other patients. I wonder if they can tell from the tip of my nose what I’m about to do.
Off an empowered woman goes: Filling the urine sample. Stick one into my vagina. Into the tube. That’s it. Stick two in my anus. Into the tube. Done. Then it’s back to the waiting room for a moment until the blood test, which is done by a medical carer.
A text message with the results
Now it’s a week’s wait. The doctor told me: If I get a text message, it means everything is fine. If I get a phone call, it means: let’s talk about what’s not so wonderful.
Conclusion
I feel empowered after the test. Taking responsibility for my own sexual health feels right, good and important. Also because I then know that I am protecting my sexual partners – in addition to using a condom.
But of course I also want to know that I am protecting myself, so it is absolutely important for me to talk to my sexual partners about their routines. When was your last test? What were you tested for?
A few days later I got the text message: “The lab results are now complete and all unremarkable. Sincerely, ZIBP”. Yeah!
PS: Check out the original in German on the Happy Vagina blog: https://happyvagina.de/mein-erster-sti-test-geschlechtskrankheiten/